You will be glad you did this.

Go to Her Appointments

Go to the multitude of appointments with your wife, your partner, as much as you can, holding her hand literally and figuratively.  In 1982, I had the luxury of relative independence in my 24/7 position as the CEO of an innovative and unique community health education and wellness center.  I built my profes-sional and community calendar around Shirley’s treatment schedule.  I went with Shirley to virtually every physician visit, every chemotherapy appoint-ment.  I felt a bit guilty about sitting in the waiting room, not going into the exam room with her for the actual treatments.  Perhaps a bit of a wimp or squeamish, but I was with her in mind, body, and spirit every step of the way. If it were possible, I would have taken it for her, traded places with her.

It is not what you do when you accompany her to treatment, but rather the act itself that speaks volumes to her.  It also gives you some sense of empowerment.  You are more than a helpless spec-tator cursing the damned disease.  You have joined the battle.  You are helping wrest control from the cancer along with your wife, your family and friends, your treatment team, and all of the support system around you.

There is also a practical side.  Hearing a diagnosis of cancer overwhelms the senses.  Doctors try to help you understand, but their daily jargon, the language of medicine, might as well be classical Greek or Latin.  With two of you there, there are two sets of ears to hear what is said.  There are two mouths to ask questions.  This helps avoid the tendency to hear what you want to hear.  Being with her each time will reassure her, help her overcome, and make you feel good about yourself.  She’ll love you for it.

Go to Her Appointments

Go to the multitude of appointments with your wife, your partner, as much as you can, holding her hand literally and figuratively.  In 1982, I had the luxury of relative independence in my 24/7 position as the CEO of an innovative and unique community health education and wellness center.  I built my profes-sional and community calendar around Shirley’s treatment schedule.  I went with Shirley to virtually every physician visit, every chemotherapy appoint-ment.  I felt a bit guilty about sitting in the waiting room, not going into the exam room with her for the actual treatments.  Perhaps a bit of a wimp or squeamish, but I was with her in mind, body, and spirit every step of the way. If it were possible, I would have taken it for her, traded places with her.

It is not what you do when you accompany her to treatment, but rather the act itself that speaks volumes to her.  It also gives you some sense of empowerment.  You are more than a helpless spec-tator cursing the damned disease.  You have joined the battle.  You are helping wrest control from the cancer along with your wife, your family and friends, your treatment team, and all of the support system around you.

There is also a practical side.  Hearing a diagnosis of cancer overwhelms the senses.  Doctors try to help you understand, but their daily jargon, the language of medicine, might as well be classical Greek or Latin.  With two of you there, there are two sets of ears to hear what is said.  There are two mouths to ask questions.  This helps avoid the tendency to hear what you want to hear.  Being with her each time will reassure her, help her overcome, and make you feel good about yourself.  She’ll love you for it.

Go to Her Appointments

Go to the multitude of appointments with your wife, your partner, as much as you can, holding her hand literally and figuratively.  In 1982, I had the luxury of relative independence in my 24/7 position as the CEO of an innovative and unique community health education and wellness center.  I built my profes-sional and community calendar around Shirley’s treatment schedule.  I went with Shirley to virtually every physician visit, every chemotherapy appoint-ment.  I felt a bit guilty about sitting in the waiting room, not going into the exam room with her for the actual treatments.  Perhaps a bit of a wimp or squeamish, but I was with her in mind, body, and spirit every step of the way. If it were possible, I would have taken it for her, traded places with her.

It is not what you do when you accompany her to treatment, but rather the act itself that speaks volumes to her.  It also gives you some sense of empowerment.  You are more than a helpless spec-tator cursing the damned disease.  You have joined the battle.  You are helping wrest control from the cancer along with your wife, your family and friends, your treatment team, and all of the support system around you.

There is also a practical side.  Hearing a diagnosis of cancer overwhelms the senses.  Doctors try to help you understand, but their daily jargon, the language of medicine, might as well be classical Greek or Latin.  With two of you there, there are two sets of ears to hear what is said.  There are two mouths to ask questions.  This helps avoid the tendency to hear what you want to hear.  Being with her each time will reassure her, help her overcome, and make you feel good about yourself.  She’ll love you for it.